Frequently Asked Questions

Q. I am having trouble with direct teaching of friendship skills to a 12-year-old. The student does not seem to have any experience at all in making friends, and he doesn’t seem to grasp what I am teaching him.

A. It’s possible that the social skill of "making friends" hasn’t been broken down into small enough pieces. The student may not have the foundation of knowledge you would expect of a child his age because of his lack of experience as well as a lack of the understanding of the hidden curriculum required in "making friends." Try breaking the instruction down into small pieces, and then break those pieces down again if possible. Teach those pieces directly and don’t forget the practice! Use the following outline as a guide:

"Making friends" breaks down into:

What is a friend?

• What are some things a friend does? Doesn’t do?
• What can you do to show someone you are a friend?
• What qualities would you expect in a friend (most of the time)?

How do you meet a friend?

• Introduce yourself
• Use "cool" phrases
• Ask a few questions about the person

What are the responsibilities of a friend?

• Try to find things in common to talk about
• Talk about the friend’s interests too
• Call the friend sometimes, even if you have nothing specific to say

Q. My student seems very motivated to follow rules in my class, yet he continues to break one of them all the time – completing a final draft. I think it’s written clearly on the board, but he is very defiant and I don’t know what the problem is.

A. He may not understand the rationale, the purpose, behind the rule. Logical reasons behind the tasks they are asked to do are very important to people with ASD. Try explaining in a direct way why the rule exists and what would happen if it wasn’t there.

Example: Kim never writes a final draft of her work, even though this is the rule in her language arts class. She thinks it is finished once she has reached "the end" of the paper, even though it’s her first draft and it is very sloppy. Her teacher explained to Kim that her job in writing was not to reach the end of the subject on the paper. It was to:

1. Write the paper completely.
2. Be sure the paper is written neatly enough so that three other people could read and understand it.
3. Modify the paper if three other people are not able to read and understand it.

The teacher rewrote the rule and posted it on the wall this way. Now Kim understands the purpose in finalizing her material, and she does not consider redoing work a waste of her time any longer.

Q.The social worker who usually works on social issues in our school is somewhat loose in her approach and has trouble being specific. The speech/language therapist has a great relationship with our student and is good at explaining things carefully, calmly and clearly. Is there any reason why I couldn’t reschedule the student to do this kind of work with the speech/language therapist?

A. There is no rule about who should teach social skills. If the speech/language therapist is a better match in terms of personality, the child will be relaxed and more open to learn. This is important because some of the social skills children need to learn very personal. If the speech language therapist has no background in the various techniques needed, she should be trained before working with the student.

Q. I would like my social skills class to do social problem solving together, and I think SOCCSS would be a great way to start. Any suggestions on how to approach this in a group setting?

A. One suggestion is to write random social situations on stripes of paper and put them in a box, and then pick one. Kids can anonymously add suggestions to the box (which can be altered by the teacher to maintain anonymity if obviously based on true circumstances), or the topics can be skills the teacher has observed as needing improvement. The group can work suggestions out together, adding comments to each others’ remarks (with rules about appropriateness). Different solutions could be acted out for practice, and even videotaped for review later on. Another suggestion would be to view videotapes of TV programs with or without the sound, and trying to determine what the characters’ motives might be, what the real problems are, and how the various characters view the same situation. Stopping the action and asking for possible solutions before the TV solution is shown can even include prizes for accurate guesses (Myles, 1999).

Q. How long will it take my student to learn about hidden curricula? He still struggles with social material, even though we have been working on it for a long time.

A. It is very likely that the student will not truly "master" the hidden curriculum. In fact, it’s unlikely that any of us ever really do. If the student is making progress, and you can document the changes, that is great. If you have not seriously assessed his progress, you need to do so in order to make adjustments to the program. If the student is not making any significant progress, it is important to review the methods you are using and your expertise at implementing them to be sure they are being presented appropriately. It may also be advisable to obtain recommendations from an educational consultant with expertise in ASD.