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Summary
Supporting friendships for children with ASD is more than simply placing
students around their classmates. It requires attention and effort of
trained parents and educators concerned about the long-term success
and happiness of students. Some practices promote primarily one-sided
“helping” relationships, such as partnering the child with
ASD with a more able peer during classroom time. Although such attempts
are usually well intentioned, the outcome is usually not friendship.
Instead it is hoped that the social skills learned during a Circle of
Friends will help the child with ASD develop the social skills needed
to cultivate and maintain a friendship.
As all the children in the circle see that they
really do have more in common with each other than not, friendships
will grow. Perhaps the child with ASD won’t be “best friends”
with every child in the circle, but if she can find even one true it
is worth all the time, effort, and thought invested by the team. Friendship
is two-sided and involves reciprocal involvement. Careful planning for
developing friendships is critical for students with ASD. By developing
a Circle of Friends for a student with ASD you are developing skills
that he can use for a lifetime!
Ryan's Writing
This was written by a student with autism and given
to his Circle of Friends at the end of the school year
What Friends Are
- A friend is not an enemy
- A friend is someone who is nice
- Someone who does not say mean things
- If you are mean you will have no friends
- Someone who will listen
- Someone who gives hugs
- Someone who tries not to hurt someone’s feelings
- Someone who helps you not say bad words
- Someone who helps you learn
- Someone who reads with you
- Someone who eats lunch with you
- Someone who makes you laugh
- Someone who helps you
- Someone who plays with you
- Someone who likes you when you are in a bad mood
- Someone who is patient with you
- Someone who helps be quiet at school
- Someone who rides the bus with you
Permission granted by Carol and Ryan Ondracek (2003)
for ICAN.
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