What does "Partnering" mean?

In order to work effectively together as one team, all members should have a shared understanding of the planning process. Unfortunately, this can be difficult to achieve, especially for families with newly-diagnosed children who have not had the time or the knowledge of resources to develop this understanding. The IEP process can be quite daunting – especially when there are so many other things involved with an autism disorder that demand attention from families as well (i.e. medical evaluations and assessments, trips to the therapist, etc.). This can quickly become overwhelming for parents, especially those who are still in the grieving process.

Nevertheless, parents, with assistance from the school team, can develop a good working knowledge of the special education system, choosing appropriate supports and interventions from known best-practice sources, and the process of developing IEPs. Parents do have a perspective that is unique to the team, because they are the only members that have experience with the child in other settings within the community. Teachers will rarely see the child at a birthday party, at Grandma’s house, at Boy Scout Camp or in the grocery store. Information about the child’s ability to function in settings such as these add to the ‘big picture’ of how everyone views the child, but also provides good information about what the child can do well, what he struggles with, and what he enjoys. The list of these types of things can be limited if they are only described in terms of math class, gym, or recess. In addition, parents know their own child so intimately, that the subtle nuances of behavior changes (such as the finger tapping that precedes a meltdown) are well known and easily recognizable to them, while teachers have to learn them - often ‘the hard way’ - when this information is not shared.

School personnel have had specific training in a number of different aspects of education (i.e. curriculum, age-appropriate skills, development, etc.). This background allows them an important perspective on what may be practical within a particular school building or classroom (i.e. lack of space or expertise), changes that occur throughout the day and year (i.e. changes in staff, long-term substitutes, emergency situations as they occur), and may know of resources that parents would not have access to (i.e. a behavioral consultant contracted to work in the district, organizations that provide training). Through their experience, they also know what is appropriate for a given age group in terms of socialization and behavior skills (i.e. what makes you cool this week, or how much control over choice-making typical kids this age can manage). The routines and expectations from one setting to another are vastly different, and so a child with an ASD needs to develop skills that will allow him or her to maneuver successfully through most of them. For example, the expectations would vary from a Boy Scout meeting, grandma’s house, the grocery store, a specific classroom, the art room or gym, lunchroom or playground. All of these environments need to be part of the decision-making process. Decisions about this variety of settings would be difficult to make with accuracy if limited perspectives were considered.

Team members should remember that respect of those different perspectives as being valid viewpoints is critical to the nature of a team. The old saying on the sporting field of “there is no I in TEAM” comes to mind, since no single person has all the right – or all the wrong - answers. Learning to truly listen to the ideas of others, and to consider them carefully and seriously, is a skill that is not taught in parenting classes or in higher-education teaching schools. It takes work, dedication, and an open mind and heart to develop skills in these areas.

Team members must develop a shared ‘vision’ of where the child is now, and where he is going, both in the short and long term. One of the ways individual team members can find some common ground is to conduct a Futures Planning meeting so that the formalities and constraints of the IEP meeting can be relinquished, and a frank discussion about the child as a person can become the center of the discussion. In this way, people often learn to see a child through another person’s eyes. When this happens, it is easier to respect another’s opinion or idea, because the underlying meaning and purpose behind them become clear. Additionally, it becomes easier to find solutions or options to problems when the focus is diverted from anger and blaming of individuals for the existence of problems. Emotions can run very high for parents when discussing their own child’s difficulties and needs, and can run equally as high for dedicated teachers and staff who may feel their teaching skills and experience are undervalued. When all parties are aware of these potential dangers, respect needs to be vigilantly reinforced and practiced if the interest of the child is to remain the focal point.

Partnering is very difficult to achieve when the members of the team only get together on a yearly basis, or for a formal IEP meeting. The amount of time needed to successfully plan for a child’s program will almost certainly exceed the hour or two allotted for an annual meeting at the end of the school year (when meetings for many children can be scheduled back-to-back with no margin for additional time). Kids with ASD are complicated, and so, generally, are their plans! It is recommended that teams meet regularly on an informal basis, and that this be scheduled in advance so that no one is left guessing about the next meeting time, and no one is constantly scrambling to arrange meeting time given everyone’s diverse schedules. All meetings should be arranged by one person (probably the case manager), and would ideally be scheduled at the same time and day (i.e. the first Monday of the month at 8:30 AM in the teacher’s staff room). The team should not think that the only reason to meet is to solve existing problems – sometimes it is important to meet just to recognize and celebrate exceptional progress! This is important for team members in order to encourage continued investment in the hard work they do every day. Support from other team members is a critical piece that fosters creativity and consistency of effort.